Sunday, May 30, 2010


I think it is easier to post daily, when you don't feel like every post has to be earth-shattering and amazing. I am a writer and a reader at heart and in life, and I have so much to say but then it just fizzles. Writers block. And I hate blogs where the author writes once every few months... alas that is me.

How is life? Great. Baruch Hashem. Ups and downs. Mostly ups, but lets not deny there are downs. Little aidel is growing and keeping me very busy, bh. Life here in EY is so different than in America. Here my day runs in shifts. There is the morning, then lunch, afternoon, supper, and night. Mornings are busy with Little One and my job, lunch with Mr Aidel, afternoons.... supper... and then the night is cleaning up and putting LA to sleep. Its hard, exhausting, and at the same time I find myself bored at times. Maybe the right word isn't bored. Maybe its lonely?

Most of my friends, or girls my age that I knew here, have moved on to chutz la'aretz. They are busy finishing school, getting jobs, and having second children. It is sad for me that I feel like I am left here, but at the same time I feel grateful to still be here. It bothers me that there are days I want to join them. I know one day I am going to look back and wish I could still be here. Because its not forever. Its temporary. And maybe that is what drives people crazy... knowing that our lives here are only for now, and that they will change drastically when we go back.

I hate whiners and kvetchers, and I have become one. I have become someone who feels lonely, and who can't just walk around herself being entertained. I know there are plenty of chessed opportunities, and I do them. I go to inspiring places... but I guess I just miss what I had here. And I miss my family.