It seems that once a girl gets engaged, she becomes the guru for dating advice. She also suddenly gets listened to when it comes to rehding shidduchim. Sometimes. But until that moment, she is unheard.
I'm here to talk about after that moment. Suddenly, people flock to me like they flock to sample sales in the city. I get phone calls, I get nudges, and I am supposed to give this sagely advice, for obviously I know a secret because I have a ring on my finger.
This is so inherently false. I mean, just because whatever mess-ups I did didn't hurt my process, or didn't bother Mr. Mensch over here, does not mean that I know what I am doing. But I have to say that I followed this same path. When I was dating, I followed my engaged friend's advice. And this girl had only dated one boy!
However, I love to help. I have to admit, it is fun to hear people's dating stories and lives. Maybe I am just a gossip. I don't know. If I admit it, shouldn't that be something? But I feel terrible when I don't really know how to help them, or even if what I did they should follow, and they listen to me like I am the spokeswomen for dating.
7 comments:
honestly, i'd sooner speak to a friend who's been dating for a couple years and has more experience than an engaged girl who might be lucky that she made it but otherwise has no experience.
why be so brutaly honest with yourself? maybe your friends see an expert in you that you just don't apreciate? mazal tov! good luck to you.
I felt the same way when I had gotten engaged. I, like one of your friends, had only ever dated one guy (albeit for a year-- and then another 8 months of engagement). I felt insanely under-qualified to be answering their questions and always prefaced it with, "Well, I've only ever dated one guy, so I can't really speak about guys in general, but..."
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