Inner Debate

So, I decided to take a break from part two of my shidduch talk, and just talk about other, important topics. Maybe. But part two, along with ten and twenty, will be up very soon.
{{First off- thanks to my amazing commenters! Wow- I did not expect my first post to get so many, as well as the fact that they are from people who are well-established in blog land and with great blogs. I mean, I read yours all the time. So thanks. }}

But on to my topic for the day. Now, its really about Raising Children. But not just any. Mine. One day. Now, we are not going onto a tangent and talking about finding that husband, but the actual art of raising kids.

After Seminary, I know that it is not inborn and has to be worked at. There has to be a system. But what system? I feel like every kid is sooo different. Take my parents for example, and me. My parents were pretty strict, but I didn't feel it. I was allowed to watch TV/Movies, and my mother let me listen to what I wanted. But Boys? Chas Veshalom. Now I'll you- I did have many oppurtunities in the ninth/tenth grades to go with my friends and do "bad stuff." But I didn't. Why not?

Well, that stumps me. I know that I was a shy kid, so that could have been why. Or maybe it was because I had a conscience. Or was it the fear of my parents? I'll tell you what. I was always able to talk to my mother and I actually told her once that I really wanted to. That for sure helped. But I don't know what exactly it was that stopped me from doing anything of the sort.

My parents are great parents. They are. I mean, now I have some complaints just because I am older, and being the oldest, they don't really know what to do with me. But I think they did a good job. In fact, people are always telling them that, because the sister under me is an angel. Pretty much- anyway out of the house.

But I am worried a different sister. One who is ten years old, and quite a handful. I don't know if my parents' "method" is going to work for her like with me. And that actually got me to my first question, What makes a child raised well?
[On to raising children, part two next time. Later!]

"The Market"

I have been home for what, 3 months? Almost Four? And already, the pressure is on. I feel it. I have to admit that I felt it a bit in seminary, all the way on the other side of the ocean. It is intense. The not-knowing who, what, when, where, or how? No one wants to be the last one. And for some reason, everyone feels forgotten.

And this is quite pathetic. But I am absolutely no better. I am eighteen years old, fresh out of Sem, and I feel nervous. Stressed. And this is the norm. I have to say that although it is the norm, it is not exactly normal.

Whats the problem? I was not supposed to be dating anyway until after way Chanukkah, when I turn nineteen. And most girls start after sukkos. Which was three days ago. But I still feel it. Maybe it is in my unconscious, or pre-conscious. Whatever the psycho-analysis term that it is. One thing is for sure, those psychiatrists would say that all jewish single girls are medically INSANE. Or maybe its the world?

Why does an eighteen year old/nineteen year old feel such pressure? Is it really such a horror if the girl gets a bit of college done, or makes some money, and matures a little? Why is there are nebach to the age 21? Why do I get appraising looks when I walk into a kiddush or whatever? Why do I have to get dressed up whenever I step out of my house? Its a crazy world I tell you. And it is me too, don't get me wrong. I feel like I'm dying to get married. And for no good reason. I know I am still immature in some ways. Have plenty of room to grow. And I probably don't deserve the type of boy that I want. But those are my issues.

More on this later. Meanwhile, whoever reads this: I'd love to hear your thoughts. Part two, or shall I say, a more personal aspect of this rant, is coming soon.

Welcome

So, here I am. Posting. I've been a blog reader for some time now. And a definite internet lurker. And I just feel like I have things to say. Now, here is a little bit about me. I am an eighteen year old girl who is just back from Seminary is Israel. I am a "BY" ish type girl, though not the regular boring stereotypical type. I like to think of myself as different. Special. Maybe we will just stick with different. But I am now home and officially "on the market". Oh yes. And busy too, with school and work.

So who am I? I'm that girl in your Science class. I'm the girl down the block. The girl you went to school with. The girl you remember from camp. I'm the average, teenage jewish-frum girl. And you know me. Or do you??