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Thursday, October 11, 2007

"The Market"

I have been home for what, 3 months? Almost Four? And already, the pressure is on. I feel it. I have to admit that I felt it a bit in seminary, all the way on the other side of the ocean. It is intense. The not-knowing who, what, when, where, or how? No one wants to be the last one. And for some reason, everyone feels forgotten.

And this is quite pathetic. But I am absolutely no better. I am eighteen years old, fresh out of Sem, and I feel nervous. Stressed. And this is the norm. I have to say that although it is the norm, it is not exactly normal.

Whats the problem? I was not supposed to be dating anyway until after way Chanukkah, when I turn nineteen. And most girls start after sukkos. Which was three days ago. But I still feel it. Maybe it is in my unconscious, or pre-conscious. Whatever the psycho-analysis term that it is. One thing is for sure, those psychiatrists would say that all jewish single girls are medically INSANE. Or maybe its the world?

Why does an eighteen year old/nineteen year old feel such pressure? Is it really such a horror if the girl gets a bit of college done, or makes some money, and matures a little? Why is there are nebach to the age 21? Why do I get appraising looks when I walk into a kiddush or whatever? Why do I have to get dressed up whenever I step out of my house? Its a crazy world I tell you. And it is me too, don't get me wrong. I feel like I'm dying to get married. And for no good reason. I know I am still immature in some ways. Have plenty of room to grow. And I probably don't deserve the type of boy that I want. But those are my issues.

More on this later. Meanwhile, whoever reads this: I'd love to hear your thoughts. Part two, or shall I say, a more personal aspect of this rant, is coming soon.

14 comments:

Semgirl said...

Welcome to blogland and thanks for the link..

I was in your shoes a good few years ago. All I can advise you is take your time dont let anyone rush you into anything. You have the whole rest of your life ahead of you.

LakewoodShmuck said...

welcome to blogland! I hope you have an enjoyable experience here. btw the guys are as marriage crazed as the girls. its a genetic test dor yeshorim doesn't do because we all have/had it.
happy hunting.

AidelKnaidel said...

Thanks, SG and LS. I read your blogs all the time, so its funny to see you guys on mine. Thanks for the tips. I feel better knowing that I'm not alone in this.

TheGirl said...

hey welcome to the world of blogging and the REAL world, where you are your own person.

Nice to see u here, and take it from me don't worry to much about shidduchim its not worth it... good luck with all u decide to DO!!!!

Scraps said...

Ah, to be 18 again...fresh off the plane.

I think it is good that you recognize within yourself that there is still plenty of room to grow, even though you're already feeling the pressure to get married right away. I think it's only natural for you to be feeling the pressure, because unfortunately it's what you're going to face in your society. But as long as you're intellectually aware that it's okay not to get married within the first six months after seminary, that's at least somewhere to start.

David_on_the_Lake said...

Ahhh if we could just peek into the future and see that everything will be alright...we'd go back and enjoy and live..
I remember when I got married..waiting for my wife to get pregnant..one month...No..I didnt need a baby right away..I couldve waited a few years..I just wanted to know that I COULD have one..But they go hand in hand..

Good luck..and welcome to blogworld

Lakewood Venter said...

welcome! I look forward to many future posts! Hatzlacha!

Jacob Da Jew said...

It's hard but you have the right attitude.

Take your time.

Welcome to the J-Sphere.

Lvnsm27 said...

Welcome, trust me, it's much better to enjoy your life now. The right one will come along IY'H

halfshared said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bas~Melech said...

Not sure whether you're looking for advice or what, but this is mine: Chill. You know you're young. You need time to settle in and find your adult self. (thought that's what sem was for? no, that was just the practice session. Welcome back) When you find true inner peace with that knowledge (not as deep as it sounds) then the pressure you feel now will kind of fade into the background until you're ready to face it again.

LINKER said...

Ye hath entered the dark world of shidduchim... there is only one way out... not everyone makes it... nyahahahahaaa!

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