*hides*

Hey everyone- this is just your typical announcement to let you know that I am, officially, engaged.

Yes me. I know. *shriek* I left the singles club and joined the terrified, shivering marrieds to be. And you know what? That planet that everyone says I am supposed to have been lifted to, or that feeling of euphoria that was supposed to come over me... has not yet arrived.

I am a very logical, analytical person who thinks things through way too much. And though I will tell most of the story of how I ended up where I am now- I must say that it is nothing like anyone tells you. Most of what people state, is all made up misbelief that they want to convince themselves of. And had I listened to all of them, even my newly engaged friends who hid the truth from me, I would not be.

More later. And I will not abandon this site, nor my religious visit to Bad4s site. And I will not become an obnoxious, engaged girl who drapes her hand around Touro to show off the bracelet.

Pressure levels

Don't you just love the rules? By date X, you should feel Z. By date Y, you should be Q. I mean, who really knows?

Everyone is different. We all know that. We learned it in kindergarten, perhaps through Barney, btu we know it. We are all special. Unique. Abnormal. Weird. Whatever you want to call it, each and every person has something different, maybe even eccentric or strange about them. Yet when it comes to dating, we classify everyone into the same catagories. Everyone into the same molds.

Who said these things? Who declared themselves lord and decided these ridiculous guidelines for the rest of us mere commoners? Just to reiterate, no one is the same. That means that everyone has to step back and just let each person come to terms with whatever, however slow they might be.

the fear lives inside

Well, hello all. Yes, I am still alive. I have been super busy with schoolwork- apparently term papers are "the" thing now and all I do is sit and write them. But otherwise, life is good. B'H.

Things have just been a little nuts. I think I have realized a lot about myself, and some of it is not so pleasant. I am afraid. Afraid of change. Afraid of growth. I am a creature of habit, a lover of routine and stagnation. I hate suprises and new things. I like everything to be a certain way. Yet I am not intense, but chilled about most things.

But now is just not a great time to be fearful. I am growing up, and I know that things will change one day, and that I must embrace them and not cower in their presence. But it terrifies me. And that makes me so frustrated.