Don't you just love the rules? By date X, you should feel Z. By date Y, you should be Q. I mean, who really knows?
Everyone is different. We all know that. We learned it in kindergarten, perhaps through Barney, btu we know it. We are all special. Unique. Abnormal. Weird. Whatever you want to call it, each and every person has something different, maybe even eccentric or strange about them. Yet when it comes to dating, we classify everyone into the same catagories. Everyone into the same molds.
Who said these things? Who declared themselves lord and decided these ridiculous guidelines for the rest of us mere commoners? Just to reiterate, no one is the same. That means that everyone has to step back and just let each person come to terms with whatever, however slow they might be.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Pressure levels
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4 comments:
You've hit the nail right on the head. You have to let your relationship with your date proceed at a rate that is comfortable for the two of you. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to be engaged by the Xth date or after X weeks. Go at your own pace and make sure that this is the guy for you -- however long it takes. A marriage is a lifelong commitment and should not be entered into quickly or to fit someone else's timetable.
The Wolf
Don't let anyone tell you you're "supposed" to be feeling/doing a certain thing by a certain time. It's okay to let things proceed at a pace that is comfortable for you.
it seems like hypocracy is one of the top flaws of the frum community. I remember in HS my principal gave a speech about the time she was sitting at the airport waiting to board the plane. She was saying how so many people passed by, some fat, some skinny, some tall, some short, some blond, some brunette, a few with red hair. her point was, was that we should all recognize that differences are not just skin deep...
but then... I'd bet she's the type of person that would pressure girls into feeling certian things at certain times, or getting married after the "xth date" (like wolf says...
So...I dunno wat to tell you, but that I feel ur pain. Its terribly annoying to face this hypocracy while you still have your own feelings and have no way of knowing how to react.
Well written article.
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