Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The other side of me

Did you ever discover a part of yourself that you never knew existed? I know that this happens all the time, with talents and whatever. Take me for example, I never knew that I could draw until I actually had to pick up a pencil in the ninth grade. Or that I didn't know I was a good dancer until I was picked to be head of dance in camp in the summer after ninth grade? I guess freshman year was a big one for me. Hah.

But this time, I am talking about something a little less exciting. I am talking about discovering an ugly part of you. But I mean me. Of course, it crops up in occasion. Things you don't like about yourself. But never, never, had I experienced something like this.

Jealousy. The big, green giant. But not the one in the cans of yummy corn. This one is all me, and let me tell you, Aidel had never experienced something like this before.


The Dreamer said...

oh, yeah.
i see negativity in me all the time.
and new things come up just about every day.

halfshared said...

:( At least if you know you have it, you can fight it..just need to find the right ammunition. That's what life is all about, constantly growing..changing...discovering. Just make sure the change is upward..not down the ladder.

Scraps said...

It's a very uncomfortable, unsettling feeling to discover the negative sides of your personality, the ugly emotions that you're always told "a good girl doesn't feel". But if you deny those feelings, they just come out in other ways; if you confront them head-on, at least you're acknowledging that they are real and you can fight them more effectively.

Jealousy is a very ugly, unpleasant feeling. It knaws at your insides, poisoning your outlook, making you want what the other person has and blinding you to the good in your own life. But if you know it's there, you can face it. Flying beneath the radar, it can take you unawares.

Scraps said...


(what has happened to my spelling?!)

Bad4shidduchim(in exile) said...

Can't say it better than Scraps.

flatbush gal said...

Jealousy...happens to the best of us. Even though some people appear to never be jealous and have it all. grrr. woops thats me being jealous.

Juggling Frogs said...

Kol Hakavod to you for taking inventory of your pantry.

Lots of people just reach in, and never inspect the contents of the cans.